Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:00]:
Hello, fabulous. It's Dr. Stephanie Fein here with Weight Loss for Fertility. And if you're listening to this in real time, it is the very last day of 2024. How do you feel about that? I always get a little nostalgic around this time. I think most of us do. And so I. I had this urge.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:24]:
I don't know what, what, what would I call it, this desire, this nostalgia mixed with thinking about you. And I wanted to record this little episode as the last one of this year. And then next week we're going to start with New Year, new you. Not that exactly, but more sort of a hopeful weight loss. You know, all the traditional things that we do around here, and that happens at the beginning of the year. There is some energy that happens, and we will, you know, jump on that because I'm always wanting to help you lose weight, feel, well, doing it, and be super kind to yourself. So we'll talk about all that stuff and we'll do that again next week. But for now, I wanted to touch base, tell you a little bit about how I'm feeling.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:18]:
And then if you're feeling this way, I want to normalize it, make it okay. Because if the holidays did not go as planned, it's okay. It was a funny one for me this year. It was quieter, smaller, not as special. I'm putting that in air quotes. And what I mean is, like, not spectacular or dramatic as ones in the past have felt and been. It was like a calm joy, sweet and poignant and uneventful. And there's so much of that I like, but I.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:58]:
It feels like there's like a sadness or a resignation. I. I'm not sure what it is, but as I was feeling it and thinking about it, I realized I was comparing it to past holiday. And things were different. People were around that are no longer around. Families grow and change. It's like it's a normal part of what happens. And all that reminded me to tell you that it's okay to have the holiday you had.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:30]:
It's okay to have wanted it to look different. And it's okay to be happy. It's over if you are. And what I came to when I was having my feelings about this is that this is one holiday season of many. So the thing that was helping me with this, it's not quite melancholy. The thing that was helping me with this was the idea of putting things in perspective. And that's what I'm offering you today. It's one of many, many holidays.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:13]:
And when we take a Bigger, broader perspective, we see how they fit into the fabric of our lives. Some holidays provide contrasts. Like we know when we've had a good one, when we've had a not so good one. And maybe this is one of the contrast holidays, but seeing a holiday time like a holiday time as a whole, as one of many, as one of, yeah, the fabric of our lives. I actually promise that there will be a time that you'll look back at this one fondly, wistfully, even now. There's no need for you to feel that now. But I wanted to plant the seed that maybe that idea can settle in you and bring some relief if needed. There will be something about it because you will have holidays with the family you want.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:18]:
I know that without a doubt. I don't know how it's going to look to get there, but your holidays will look different. And amazingly, there will be some things about this holiday that you miss. And I can only tell you that because I'm on the other side of it and I see that that's what happens. Again, you don't have to change your experience of the holiday you're having now. It's just this idea of possibly in the future you will see this one differently and just put a pin in that. That may be helpful. It does not mean you have to erase your feelings about the one you're having now.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:10]:
We don't do that around here because it's valuable to acknowledge, to be aware of the feelings you're having now. A lot of the time what's valuable is noticing what's coming up and then being curious about it, just to get some information. Sometimes what we'll get is, oh, I want to do this differently next time, or I would have appreciated X, Y and Z. And for as much as we can control it because many times we can't. X, Y and Z may have been others behaviors and we can't control others behaviors as much as I wish that wasn't the case. But there's some things maybe we can choose to do differently. Again, not in a way that we're beating ourselves up because we don't do that, but in a way that we've learned from whatever experiences we had this holiday. And we can decide to do it differently now.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:13]:
It's funny, I'm just talking about interactions and feelings and thoughts that we had in the holiday. Certainly this can apply a bit to eating, how the eating went this holiday, but we have lots of episodes about that sort of thing, even holiday eating. So I'm talking more Globally, about the sense of the holiday. And this is a funny moment, right? If you're. Again, if you're listening in real time, this is the last day of the year. So we're not completely done with the holidays. We still have New Year's Eve. And actually the melancholy mood of this is funny coming now because, yes, it's the end of the year, but we have a celebration tonight and it is exciting to start a new year.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:03]:
So that's another reason why I wanted to give you this episode is to, like. I don't know if it's normal. I was gonna say normalized. I'm feeling this way doesn't mean everybody is. Everyone. You guys may be, like, shopping for, you know, firecrackers, sparklers, whatever. But it's. It's a possible way of feeling.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:25]:
And I just wanted to put it out there in case there's anyone else feeling this way. And in years to come, who knows, People may be feeling this way, but in thinking about it, I was appreciating the ebb and flow of the holiday season. So in the us, we start with Thanksgiving, and then we slide into holiday decorations, music, shopping season, and then the crescendo of Christmas or Hanukkah this year was during Christmas, and then the letdown after the holidays, just after them. And then pretty quickly, within a couple days, we have the hope of the new year. It's a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Does that sound familiar? So many emotional roller coasters. Much of life can be seen as an emotional roller coaster with the hills and valleys taking minutes to cycle through or days or weeks or months or years. That's what happens.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:25]:
There's an ebb and flow. And that's okay. That's really what I wanted to say. It's okay to ebb and flow. It's okay to have a dead year. It's okay to have a fantastic year. It's. It's.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:43]:
It's all okay. And also there's perspective that this is one of many and there will be parts of it that you look back on and appreciate possibly in years to come. No pressure on that, by the way. The other little tidbit is things aren't all or nothing. I always have to remind us of that because with dieting and eating and losing weight, that diet mentality, what I mean by is dieting is all or nothing thinking that diet mentality, and that never serves us, never gotta watch it. It's so easy to be black or white, all or nothing. And so even within a holiday if we sort of label it as bad or undesired, there are definitely moments that were beautiful or poignant or sweet or loving. It's always good to notice that sort of thing.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:53]:
We're not going to judge ourselves for how we're feeling. And also we don't want to miss those moments when they're happening. So this is my love note to you. I hope that your holidays had those moments and that you felt them, and if they didn't, that's okay. We are starting a new year and that can be really exciting. There is energy there for that and it really will be a new year. A new. It's not a new beginning.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:32]:
It's just some energy to get us over the hump for the next rollercoaster, you know? Hill. Oh, I hope that didn't sound negative. I would love to leave this episode a little with a little glimmer of hope, as I just always think there is. And also, I don't want to gloss over anything that feels challenging. So I'm sending you so much love for whatever holiday you had and moving into the new year with the. With energy for whatever you need energy for. And if that includes weight loss, stick around because we are starting with a vengeance again next week. Happy, happy, meaningful, wonderful new year.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:28]:
I'm sending all my love to you and I will talk to you next week.
