Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:24]:
So this is the Valentine's show, which is why it has to be on the 11th before Valentine's Day. Hello, fabulous. It's Dr. Stephanie Fein with Weight Loss for fertility. And we have a Valentine's Day episode. Because this is coming up. If you're listening to it in real time live, it's the Tuesday before Valentine's Day. And last Valentine's Day.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:51]:
I did a goodie, if I do say so myself. It's episode 66, and it's 50 Ways to Show love without food. That's just a great idea, not only for Valentine's Day. So go have a listen to that one too. But we're having another shorty Valentine's Day episode, but this one is a little different. And when we think of Valentine's Day, we think of love. Okay, some of us think of those little pastel colored heart candies, but traditionally we think of love with romantic partners. But there are so many people to love.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:28]:
Those who are near and those who are far. Those who have passed and those who haven't arrived yet. So much love there. But the one we want to make sure we don't forget on this and every Valentine's Day, and frankly, every day. But you know, we're going to highlight the love on Valentine's Day we don't want to forget. Arguably the most important person to love. And without her, nothing else is possible. It's the loving relationship we have with ourselves.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:03]:
Now, that's likely not a surprise to you people because I'm constantly talking about that. But strengthening this relationship is a worthy goal. And the one thing that makes weight loss effortless. It really does. It's like that one domino. When we get this thing, everything else is so much easier. So in this short episode, I'm telling you about a super easy and fun technique to build that relationship up, that beautiful one we have with ourselves. And then weight loss really will become easier, and you'll see why.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:43]:
So it's the yay technique is what I like to call it. It's not the best name in the world, but also not the worst yay technique. And remember, we're strengthening the relationship with ourselves. Now, almost all of the episodes have an aspect of strengthening the relationship with ourselves. Because when we trust ourselves, we can make decisions easier and without guilt and punishment and all that. But this technique is just a simple way that feels good to strengthen that relationship with ourselves. And I don't. Recently, I was with a little baby, and my natural inclination is to just praise every single little thing they do.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:34]:
And what I noticed is that it's, you know, it's come sort of naturally, but it is a teaching technique, right? It. Because when we praise, we are doing positive reinforcement. So every little thing this baby did, I mean, took a stick. Yay. Put the stick in the other hand. Yay. Smiled. Yay.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:59]:
Looked, as you know, at something that we were doing. Yay. Everything had a yay. Pointing, smiling, moving a ball, and every little thing. And they light up when you give them that positive hit. Basically, they light up, and then they want to do it again and again because they love that reaction from you. It feels so good. Because praise and positive reinforcement works.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:30]:
That's why they light up and do it over and over again. So we do it over and over again. It's a little cycle. And you can do this with yourself. That is the trick. And the funny thing is, particularly if we do it out loud, if we say yay to ourselves, we can't tell that it's ourself. So we think someone's praising us. And of course someone is, but it's our self, but we get the same dopamine hit from it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:04]:
We're simple creatures, some of us. Well, all of us, some of the time is what I mean to say. We're all simple in this particular way that it works, and we. We trick our brain and it thinks that someone else is saying it. So interesting that we give others more power than ourselves when we say yay. But that's a sort of a separate subject. What we're counting on is just that we get a dopamine hit when we are praising ourselves. So every little thing you do say yay.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:39]:
Now, you can say it in your head. You can also say it out loud. Extra points if you say it out loud. Or you can even use confetti. I. I'm playing with the confetti I have on my desk right now. I have some just for this purpose. Okay.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:52]:
It's usually for yaying for my clients, but I have used it to yay myself, because I'm telling you it's motivating, especially if there's something that's a little hard to do. This really works. And we can yay at Every tiny little step in the process, you made the phone call. Yay. You turned on your computer. Yay. You gave yourself that shot you didn't want to. Yay.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:17]:
Stopped at positive two, which is satisfied, not full on the hunger scale. Yay. When we. When we give ourselves. And by the way, of course, you don't have to use Yay. You can say, nice job. Wow. So good.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:35]:
Anything that feels good to you. And when you get in the habit of acknowledging your efforts and giving yourself a little boost in the process, it goes so much further than you think. That simple part kicks in where we're just, like, kind of proud, kind of happy. It's really like a baby, how the baby gets happy that you said yay. We get happy for Yay. Because it feels good. With this technique, you can motivate yourself with positive reinforcement and. And show yourself kindness.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:10]:
It feels good and has you liking yourself more, both for being someone who gets praised and for being someone who gives praise. That is a double whammy. I love that the praising yourself feels good, both parts. When you're. The praising feels good, and being praised feels good. And by the way, you can insert love there, like sending love and giving love feels good. And that's what you're doing with this praise, right? Because when you like yourself, love is not far behind. And it feels good.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:54]:
You're liking and loving yourself by being praised and praising. And when there's love there, it means you're more likely to make kind, conscious decisions about your food, about your relationships, about your life. You treat things you love well. You're less likely to make yourself uncomfortable physically or emotionally. You listen to yourself. You hear what you have to say, and you respect yourself. You're comfortable in your skin, calm, loving. And that kind of relationships.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:39]:
And that kind of relationship makes decisions so much easier to make. They're clearer. You have a direction. This is how I treat someone I love. This is an easy decision for me. And the pride grows. It's an upward spiral of love and respect. Now, it's not forever and always perfect and only going in one direction, but if we have a lot of time in the upward spiral, it makes the downward ones more bearable.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:11]:
They're not as deep. You trust that you'll get back to love, and you know one way to do that, and that's a big yay. So cultivating the most loving, kind, understanding relationship you can with yourself makes life and weight loss so much easier. Less judgment, more forgiveness, less punishment, more encouragement, more integrity, less betrayal of yourself, more consistency. And less damage and it all feels so much better on a day to day level. We talk a lot about how to build this strengthen the relationship. Most of the episodes in this weight loss or fertility podcast deal with it one way or another. But this technique we talked about this super sweet one that feels perfect for Valentine's Day.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:12]:
Praise yourself like you would a baby, learning something new. Be excited about every little move towards the thing you want. It may sound silly but it works and it actually feels good too. I'm sending you so much love today and every day and a very happy Valentine's Day. Hopefully you're spending it with ones you love and by now you must know that I'm referring to yourself. Other people are welcome but I'm really hoping that you're feeling love towards yourself, cultivating that relationship with yourself and Valentine's Day and every day is a wonderful time to show it. Until next week.
